CAN YOU SPEAK LOVE?

An African proverb tells us, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together”

Sometimes I sense that people are really at a loss sometimes to relate to their lovers properly. We are somehow always experiencing some sort of distance. Personal communication through a device or on a screen leaves a lot to be desired. Messages are pinged off sometimes without thinking, sometimes at inappropriate times. Messages are at times in anger or upset or with expectation or anticipation. But unfortunately, because it’s delivered electronically the nuance or hidden meaning of our words is lost. In the past, the deeper levels of communication were delivered by reading body language, listening to the tone of voice or by observing the look in your eye.

But what if you could say or do just the right thing, whether that’s via a screen or in person. Having a simple but effective way of communicating that leaves no room for confusion. That would be great right!

So, here are my few simple steps to improving the language of love and getting your message across, properly.

1. Words Speak Louder Then Actions. Is this You?

If you recognise that your lover is a chatty person, who loves to draw pictures with their language. To them words are infinitely more important than gestures or actions. You may find that you are able to talk to each other for hours on end without much effort. If this is you and your lover, then giving and receiving unsolicited compliments will send their spirit skywards. Not just these loving words such as “I Love you” but follow that up with a “because” as well. “I love you because you make me laugh”. “I love you because I feel so happy when I’m near you”. “I love you because you take time to listen to me”
Just by adding the reason “””why” makes the words very personal and adds depth to the sincerity of the statement. Uplifting your lover and elevating them in your eyes.

2. Is it Quality Time V Quantity??

Are you or your lover the type of people who have busy, busy lives? and must make time for the relationship? then this is an important step in evolving your Love Language.
You know that quality time doesn’t really say very much, does it? Just spending time around your partner is one thing. But if you really want quality time to mean something provide your partner with your undivided attention. So, during your quality time switch the phone to mute, turn the TV down, cook and eat a meal together without distraction and actively listen to one another. Slow down. Have fun, plan ahead, be energetic and interested. Couples who “play together, stay together”

3. Gifting – do you like to surprise your lover with little love tokens, love letters and surprises.

This love language is often misunderstood. Do not make the mistake of thinking gifting has anything to do with materialism, it doesn’t. If you speak this language of love well, then the perfect “gift” could be a gesture, a little token, a love letter or a note left for them to find.
These gestures emphasise that they are cared for, are fully appreciated and understood. You have gone out of your way to bring an affirmation of your own feelings and desires to your partner. However, a missed birthday a missed arrangement and a thoughtless hasty gift would be a big No-No

4. Acts of Kindness – How you can be of service to your partner?

Can doing the house work or bringing in the shopping or washing up constitute a gesture of love?? Of course it can. This is about pulling your weight. “Acts of service” type people rarely complain about what they do for their lover. To them it’s about their expression of love. But if you recognise their language of love, by just saying “let me do that for you” will speak volumes about your recognition of their efforts. A+ in your language of Love. However, laziness, taking them for granted or making more work for them will say their feelings or acts of kindness don’t matter to you.

5. The Loving Touch – Are you or your partner a hugger???

“Ahh ha” I hear you say. Yes, yes the bedroom is important, but this language of love is all about the loving touch – tactile gestures. Hugging, holding hands, stroking the hair, touching the face, shoulder or neck. Reaching out gently and just making a physical connection with your lover says so much more than the action. It’s shows concern, care, love as well as excitement, desire and need. All of which complete the full and unique language of love that is not just about words, but also so much more that is unspoken. Practice these a few times and you’ll soon see just how important using this vocabulary is and what a huge difference it can make to your love Life.

If you have been worried about your relationship or want to know the answers to questions you have about your love-life, I am here to help. Visit my personal page and let me help you find the answers that you seek. http://www.leevanzyl.com/category/personal-readings/

Love, Lee